My-Goals

My Goals with This Project:

Suing For Best Practices at HAI

Introduction

Insure that Peter Sandhill's son is not subject to the same abuse unconsciously: betrayal, shame, abandonment and having it called "love."

To insure that every client of the facilitators has a reasonable chance of learning about what I consider the shadow side of the facilitators so they can take steps to protect from that.

To learn what does and does not work for an individual who occupies a minority perspective to stand up for group abuse in America along these lines.

To be really clear, by establishing boundaries, protocols and contrast, with how I run the non-profit that I've formed in 2017.

To desensitize myself from the pain to a point where I can look at it without going into re-traumatization.

To heal the loneliness that comes from having profound experiences no one knows about and cannot understand.

To illuminate dangers around psychedelics that I did not know about so that psychedelic use can happen more safely.

To insure if possible that the costs to my relationships, health and finances as a result of facilitator negligence are paid by the facilitators (Since I can earn money easier than I can sue the facilitators this is partly a teaching principle - since I think that the facilitators will put someone else's life in jeapardy if they think it will save them money in the future.)

To give the community a chance to catapult HAI to a new level of effectiveness, with or without the facilitators.

If HAI survives the legal process and there are people who want to see it grow who are committed to patient, team and participant safety and well-being as the number one priority, I want to help with and see that an app is used by everyone involved with HAI in any way that includes a feature of gathering meta-data about all abuses, pains, shame and failure within the entire community and insures that protocols are used that see a consistent decline in trauma/shame within the community.

To get to a point where I can talk about the full range of my feelings and experiences without going into so much pain that I enter addiction, or hurt myself or others.

To make a documentary about trauma, therapeutic practice, blind-spots and use this situation to show-case how that works in detail and what communities can do about it.

If HAI survives to see that there is a team involved that will not abandon an abuse-survivor in trauma within the community.

To give the parts of me who have been made crazy by facilitator ignorance, agendas and dishonesty the experience of healing trained objective professionals tell me that what I experienced and how I feel about it is normal, healthy and that it should not have happened. That there is nothing wrong with me that this has been the most significant experience of my adult life and nearly killed me.

That I receive enough honor and am able to honor the feelings I have enough to let them go in a context where I feel safe and that I have honored my responsibility to keep other innocent people safe.

To educate myself about what does and does not work to restore well-being to someone in my position and to publish that.

To share what I have found most helpful in my journey towards healthy relationship that did not come from HAI, so that people from HAI who explore this project will benefit from that knowledge.

To convey wordless, timeless experiences in a way that people hearing my words can get some inkling of and model that technique so that others who cannot speak or are too overwhelmed feel seen and heard by my words.

To give others courage who have been silent that they, alone and unsupported by others in community, can have their voice heard and have a positive change.

To champion the message that we need a 1000% increase in our efforts to become emotionally literate and that for that to occur we need competent teachers.